Being a therapist can be a joy but it’s complex and often opaque to newcomers.

The way I see it, the therapist’s role is to:

• Construct a one-way supportive relationship prioritizing client well being

• Communicate warm, attentive caring

• Allow clients to authentically explore their experiences while being seen, heard, and validated

• Co-create a way for clients to structure their thinking about their experience (vs how chaotic or confusing it may be feeling for them initially)

• Do role induction* initially and recursively; many people don’t have a good grasp of what the client and therapist roles are in a session, which can erode therapy

• Be good at setting and clarifying good goals within a coherent framework

• “Witness” and “hold space” during difficult moments. You’ve gotta be comfortable in your own skin- the more the better

• Be willing to hear feedback, and to repair ruptures

• Practice consistent, effective self-care so we can be present

• Showing up with as many of your own needs met as is possible

• Know what ‘good enough’ therapy looks like vs when to stay home when we can’t do so (an ugly but important consideration)

• Prioritize how your client thinks about change, not how you do

• Helping clients identify and define what meaningful change is for them

• Set and maintain healthy boundaries, respecting the therapeutic setting

• Attempt to understand clients’ inner experience through genuine curiosity, getting to know them as individuals, not simply ‘presenting problems’

• Know and understand your professional biases, limitations, and areas for growth and supervision

• Eventually, have reasonable competence with a few models of therapy

• Have a cogent approach to therapy, which will indicate more specifics about what to pay attention to (e.g., re-storying a piece of the narrative, restructuring cognitions, processing then integrating trauma, etc

And it is not the role of a counsellor to:

• Work harder than your client on their wellbeing (safety is an exception to this); instead just meet them where they’re at regarding motivation

• Take responsibility for clients’ choices, successes, or failures

• Check/answer voicemail or email outside of time at work (assuming you work in a typical counselling psych setting)

• “Fix”, “save”, or rescue clients from their circumstances or themselves (except safety)

• Befriend or parent clients (barring some approaches re-parenting ideas)

• Be an expert in all modes of therapy, or to be capable of working with all presentations and populations

The therapeutic alliance is the vehicle to change. A lot of therapy is spent on allowing clients to explore their experiences while feeling heard and validated—then they’re in a more likely position to change or take action. Many times the concrete or behavioural change a person wants/needs to make is quite simple, it’s the ‘baggage’ in the way first that can be a challenge (see: transtheoretical stages of change, and why lists of skills or self-help books alone are not enough). Other times it’s a skills deficit that we can help fill in, but again that’s easy enough to do once the person trusts you and feels ready to change.

We all have to decide for ourselves exactly how we fit into this role, and your perceptions/priorities will vary depending on your training and theoretical underpinnings. Good luck out there!

*Role induction is the process by which a clinician ensures that a client has an accurate idea of:

• the rationale and framework of the treatment relationship

• the structure of the treatment process and expected outcomes of care

• the responsibilities of the clinician and the patient

PS Google Impostor Syndrome, we all feel it sometimes

PPS Fair warning, bad shit will happen to you: getting fired by clients, blamed for things, you’ll have to rupture alliances by reporting abuse or safety concerns, people die, you get sick and cancel on folks, you’ll double book clients, etc. Good things will happen too, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves

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